Uncelebration

Why can't my music,

drown out the noise inside my head,

tonight?

so i cried for the first time in 18 months and he cried too and then i watched him walk out my front door and down the steps and the driveway and into the street and thats when it was too dark and i turned around and something was really really wrong because the double chocolate mousse cheesecake didn't make me feel better

9 Lives Minus a Couple

first the football is kicked and the players are picked

next the ice cream melts and the rain pelts

and now a leaf falls.

and just like the colors

we can't stop the changing

and we can't stop the changing from falling

and we can't stop the falling from landing.

and i'm not the cat.

i'm not landing standing.

now apples are dropping,

from the trees,

now my stomach is dropping,

i'm weak in the knees,

and

time

marches

on.

leaves change.

decisions, decisions.

change falls.

decisions, decisions.

falling lands.

Decision.

This Can't Just Be Another One of Those Lies They Tell Little Kids

"...And they lived happily ever after.

The End."

The End.

The End.

The End.

Doesn't it echo through your head?

When you are dead,

is that when it ends?

No breath, no pulse,

no life?

or does it end,

when you

Close The Book?

But don't you take a second look?

And open it again?

Maybe it never ends.

But then all of the stories-

they would be lies.

But didn't we know that already?

Song of Seals

It's like...

When you save the perfect day

to wear you're favorite underwear,

and you laid it out on your floor the night before

(even though you never do that)

so getting out of bed

is slightly more bearable,

and you take off your pj's

they are now a lump on the floor,

as always

(I should really try to kick that habit),

Now, you step into the underwear,

*the moment we've all been waiting for*

left leg,

then right,

-this can't be rushed-

and before you continue getting dressed,

you MUST

-stop-

and soak in

how

un-

-be-

-lieve-

-ably

great

(confident!)

this

tiny

piece

of

thinly

striped

material

makesyoufeel.

the pants/shorts/skirt/leggings/(jeggings?)/whatever-else-is-in-style-these-days

must go on next

(unfortunately),

but any time that day

you

gotothebathroom

or

changeintoyoursoccershorts

or

takeashower,

you smile to yourself,

at the little

secret

you are carrying around

your ass is carrying around.

Yes, this is what it's like precisely.

Do you know the feeling?

Heart on the Wheel

In the backseat,
I want it
I want it
until it hurts.
In the backseat,
it's cozy.
it's last winter.
But-
I'm never satisfied.
The backseat,
makes my heart all
pitter-y-
patter-y.
The backseat,
it's alright.
We'll be alright.
For awhile.
But there's the
Worst Part.
The driver-
he can kick-me-out.
You-
can kick-me-right-to-the-curb.
Zoom Zoom
Bye.

Not this time.
Got my hands
and my heart
on the wheel.
Left
Right
and I drive and I drive.
But this is no better
than the backseat.
I am the driver.
Only one seat.
I am the driver.
I am alone.

This can't happen
It's my Greatest Fear.
My Greatest Fear:
This always happens
when I
Steer.

TIme Will Tell

Cry.
There's not enough time.
Cry.
Too much time has passed.
Cry.
Time is flying by.
Right now.
But time feels good.
Sometimes.
Time feels bad.
Sometimes.
But time can not be,
good,
nor bad;
it can only pass.
Time brings,
every
one,
closer to,
the end.
Does
every
one,
every
thing,
end?

After the Beginning

It's shy;
Like after the first kiss.
It's shy;
Like after the first fight.
It's shy;
Like the beginning.
If everything stayed,
a beginning,
she'd never taste the porridge.
And we'd never figure out the ending.
Is that such a bad thing?